You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
