Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
