just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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