If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
