your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
