i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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