You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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