it's like iHOP with fire
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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