areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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