I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
