i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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