We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
