just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
