Whod you bang
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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