peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
