Yo dont text me then not text me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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