You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
