I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
