it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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