You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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