saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
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When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
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You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
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