the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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