need another drink. this is the easiest way
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
