i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
