fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
