Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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