Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize