3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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