Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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