Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
