So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
i think im in europe. pls send help
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
