he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
