yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I deserve this hangover.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
