you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
