Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
