Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
