two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
