I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
