Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Randomize