I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
