So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
