My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
