Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
