She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
