what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
