it wasn't lemon gatorade
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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