life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
