plz talk dirty to me
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
