Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
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