When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
