we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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