If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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