gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
