The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
