Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
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