i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
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Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
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That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
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