We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
