I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
We just shotgunned beers for America
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
