who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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