I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
