love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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