I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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