once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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