bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
