My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
