you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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