I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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